| on a lighter note |
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| 09:52pm 25/02/2004 |
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mood:  blank music: Am What I Am stuck in my head...damn Ruby Tuesdays
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This is my new favorite picture!
Brandon and Eddie. Awwwwww. |
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| 05:56pm 25/02/2004 |
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just left work to go to the hospital to visit my grandmother.
i really dont want to cry, even though i know i will.
im scared. |
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| 09:18pm 24/02/2004 |
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mood:  angry music: guns and roses - november rain
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i have a secret. on big secret. that no one knows. not even my mother. and i tell her everything. and its nothing interesting or exciting, or anything like that.
and if i ever did tell anyone of my friends, or anyone at all that knows me, they'd see me completly different. cause its very "unjesslike". haha. "unjesslike".
its been getting bad again lately. last time it happend was around.. last noverber. i dont like it. it scares me. i dont know where it comes from. its just.. there.
idk what the fuck im talking about anymore. i dont even know why im typing this.
i guess its because...i've always been the one that everybody comes to with there problems, mine's the sholder everyone cry's on.
is it ever fucking going to be my turn?
prob not. ive never been to good at expressing emotions around other people. so even when i do want to talk about it....i cant.
there really isnt anything anyone can do for me, if anyone actually reads this anymore.......
just know, i need some cheering up.
i need to meet new people
i need.....away. |
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| 09:21am 21/02/2004 |
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mood:  awake music: three doors down - smack
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEAN! |
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| fuck me. |
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| 09:07pm 19/02/2004 |
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mood:  confused music: stellastar - not who i was
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i do not need to fall for another straight girl. |
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| dyke! |
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| 11:39pm 17/02/2004 |
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mood:  accomplished music: Ani - Not a Pretty Girl
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got bored today, so i decided to play with photoshop. idk. not that great, buts its all i did today, besides sleep and work. makes me feel productive, even if they are crap. hehe, oh well. im learning. i completed 9, but these two were the only ones worth showing. gotta love them lesbian couples. haha.
( I <3 Photoshop ) |
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| hush hush darling |
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| 01:27pm 16/02/2004 |
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mood:  refreshed music: no doubt - dont speak (acoustic)
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this weekend turned out pretty decent.
its been full of road trips, booze, and ...instant pleasure. haha.
i like driving to tampa, its fun, as long as i have company.
and from now on i get saturdays off. so sara if you ever need a ride let me know, i'll come get ya, as long i get gas money. its all good.
saturday night was good. i needed it so bad. haha. but it got me to thinking. its been one year, and im in the exact same place in my life where i was. ive made some new friends, expeirenced a few new things, but, everything is fundimentaly the same. not to sure how i feel about this. dont know if its a good thing ...or a bad thing. im happy with were my life is right now, but, feel like it should be different somehow, idk what im talking about, i'll stop.
ps. i no longer like anyone, in any romantic way, and this i know is a good thing |
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| i neeeeed to be gone on valentines day! |
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| 09:49pm 10/02/2004 |
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mood:  scared music: sarah mclachnan - better then chocolate
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hmm, i have a crush.
but its so fucking weird.
haha.
i think shes straight anyway.
oh well.
shes still cool.
at least she has a sence of humor. |
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| 09:41pm 08/02/2004 |
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mood:  drained music: black eyes peas - where is the love
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Like Woah.
and dont forget..
"that tasted good"
"i dont remember filming the cat"
"my nose hurts" |
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| you got me to thinking.... |
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| 11:00pm 01/02/2004 |
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mood: annoyed music: starsailor
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I need something new.
I need change.
I need some fucking defining moments.
Bring it on. |
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| 08:15pm 01/02/2004 |
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mood: amused music: atc - around the world
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I like to move it move it! I like to move it move it!
THE RUNNING MAN!
hahahahaha........Kevin is the funniest kid i know.
Dork. |
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| hey ya |
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| 03:41pm 01/02/2004 |
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mood: awake music: outkast
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hmm, im on break from work. its super bowl sunday. and so far were slow as fuck. ive made like .....15 pizzas since noon. but joanna said i'd prob get off at 8 instead of 9, which is cool.
this weekend was nice. it was relaxing, and full of soberness. which is good every once in a while. but i dont think i could stand it two weekends in a row.
hahaha. right behind the anouncer guys head for the game is a giant pizza hut logo. fun.
mmk, back to work. laterz! |
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| 09:20pm 20/01/2004 |
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mood: blah music: dar williams - as cool as i am
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ok...plans for Wedsday!
going to go see Big Fish at 330, then dinner afterward.
anyone interested?
let me know. |
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| i wish that you could show me love |
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| 06:05pm 19/01/2004 |
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music: tatu - show me love
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this weekend was pretty cool. some parts were a little difficult to get through, its the first weekend in a while i didnt have someone. it was all good tho.
friday i got off work, met up with michele, sara, brandon, and sean, when to micheles sisters house, woo, that was fun. haha, i got to kiss brandon and sara, hehe.
saturday, i didnt do anything. which was nice.
sunday night was shawns part-ay. all those shots were yummy, even tho i didnt get intoxicated at all that night, it was still fun watching everyone else.
and his bathroom caught on fire, lots of smoke, and my bugeres were black this morning, gross, but funny.
today i woke up at 3, havent left the house yet, i was going to go see big fish, but i couldnt find anyone to go with.
anyone wanna go see it with me wed.? its my only other day off this week. if not big fish i want to do something. let me know if you have any ideas. |
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| i miss you already. |
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| 08:22pm 14/01/2004 |
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mood: happy music: cat power
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there is something about driving around in my car for half an hour, with all my windows rolled down, when its freezing outside, blasting cat power-good woman from my stereo that makes me feel like everything in my life for the next while is going to be amazing. |
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| 03:43pm 13/01/2004 |
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mood: lonely/horny music: enon - disposable parts
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WANNA MAKE OUT? |
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| oh yeah....livejournal....i have one of those |
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| 10:08pm 08/01/2004 |
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mood: bitchy music: the sims on pause
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i completly forgot about livejournal. hmm. i'll start updating more.
well, while ive been "away"....alot of stuff happened. but, i really dont want to go into it alot, its entirely too upsetting, but in brief:
i wanted to meet someone, anyone, who i could actually date, and not just sleep with
i met someone
i was happy
they didnt want to date
i met someone else, and they did want to date,
i was still stuck on the first person i met
i fucked up their friendship
i am now not speaking to either
hmm, yeah even thats too long
so, ive decided, once again ....CHANGE IS BAD!
im back to the old me, not giving a shit, not falling for someone, or wanting to for that matter,im going through the motions, not making plans, just...... living.
i guess its really cool that i love all my friends and family. and i really do. they are who i live for. thats it.
the one lesson ive learned:
RELATIONSHIPS ARE OVERRATED!
the end
p.s. wanna have some fun saturday night, anyones parents out of town? or anyone doing anything? |
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| 03:44pm 24/12/2003 |
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mood: amused music: ani difranco - evolve
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1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before? everything....
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? didnt make any
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? no
4. Did anyone close to you die? no
5. What countries did you visit? mexico
6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003? love
7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? hmm..feb. 13..um, no more virginity, april 11..saw pearl jam,..the two big events of the year
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? my life has changed complelty, but ive remaind the same person
9. What was your biggest failure? school
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? nope
11. What was the best thing you bought? dunno
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? ive been able to cut people out of my life, finally...
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? ryan's
14. Where did most of your money go? i have no idea...somewhere
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? saturday nights
16. What song will always remind you of 2003? glendora
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? thinner
iii. richer or poorer? richer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? school
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? careing for people who care nothing for me
20. How will you be spending Christmas? home, with family
21. Did you fall in love in 2003? not yet
22. How many one-night stands? several
23. What was your favorite TV program? buffy, queer eye
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? no
25. What was the best book you read? hahaha..book
26. What was your greatest musical discovery? rilo
27. What did you want and get? good friends
28. What was your favorite film of this year? kill bill
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? cant remember...17
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? a signifigant other
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003? careless
32. What kept you sane? friends
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? clea
34. What political issue stirred you the most? gay marriage
35. Who did you miss? no one
36. Who was the best new person you met? michele, mel, phil
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003: you can have anything you put your mind to
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: ive been lost ive been found, ive been fooling around, ive been low ive been high, IM IN LOVE WITH THIS LIFE! |
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